Moving, Again?

Hello friends - back with you again, this time with a more general update on the Lassiter fam! I told you we were knee deep in some other big changes: We are moving! Yes, this Type A is thriving in the unknowns & constant pivots ;) While not part of "our plan" it turns out to be a huge blessing in this season we find ourselves in. Due to some unforeseen maintenance issues in our apartment, we get to head a mile up the road to something that better suites our family's needs. We are incredibly grateful, inconveniences and all! It's quite literally an answer to prayer, 6 months in advance.

I am currently grieving our most beautiful western views of the Coast Range - the sunrises, sunsets, fog lifting over the empty field, & the constant reminder of all that we love about this new city we call home. I am not, however, grieving the challenges that have made apartment life difficult over the last 7 months. The state of anxiety we experience from sharing walls with 3 neighbors (totaling 9 children) and walking on eggshells to do our best to respect our downstairs neighbor -- the constant "shh", "use whisper feet!", "please walk!", etc. only to still feel like constant failures, have been added pressures on us and the girls. I am grateful for this place and our time here - we will forever cherish these memories. But we welcome all of the new that is coming our way!

The girls will be in the same schools & the change will bring new joys and appreciations like walking to school, riding bikes to friend's houses, riding bikes in general (!), enjoying the neighborhood park (and still a pool!), air conditioning, a bathroom on the lower level (!), minimal road noise, and never having to use the words "whisper feet" in our own house again. While the size of our space isn't changing, we very much feel like we are physically moving to a "spacious place". Thank you, Lord. Our tears are now joyful.

As for timing - well - let's just say it is a doozie. But, lucky for us, logistics are my jam :) We are currently packing & will move on Sunday, January 29th - be fully out of our apartment by the 31st & then I get to start my new job February 1st. In addition, Harlo will be starting her new, full-day school on the 1st, Maven gets to start an after-school program, & Isla is looking forward to after-school hang time with her friends. Muscle memory is certainly kicking in - I feel like I'm setting up new accounts, processing address changes, and packing boxes in my sleep!

Switching gears into a heavier subject - we'd like to share with you some challenges we have been experiencing and ask for your partnership in prayer, when it comes to mind. I have previously made mention of the particularities of our littlest little: Harlo aka Loie, age 4. She is and has always been our deepest feeler of all the emotions. She is our cuddle bug, our sensitive spirit, gentle and loving, has the happiest laugh that sometimes reaches octaves you didn't know existed, etc. She is also very intelligent, adventurous, curious, independent, and very particular about how she does things. Over the last 4 years, we have experienced some intricacies with Loie that are new in our parenting journey. Many of which that have made even some of the simple tasks/directions/transitions incredibly challenging and have had a heavy impact on our family system. The last few months have been unique with extreme behaviors - many of which have left us in tears, frustrated, defeated, and helpless. We try to pivot, positive reinforcement, structured environment, quality time, validating feeling (not the behavior), etc. You name it, we feel like we have tried it - to no avail. It has made simply living and doing anything as a family incredibly difficult and if I am being brutally honest - not fun at all. We are all exhausted. It is the single most heartbreaking thing we have experienced to see our child in this way - also knowing she must feel the same inside - and having no way or idea how to help her.

I'm sure you're considering the impact that the last 7 months have had on her. Don't worry - we get to ward off this guilt daily. But I have to remind myself that all of these things are not new - they've been present since Loie was around the age of 2. I am fully confident that even if our "big changes" were removed, the things we are currently experiencing would still be happening. I know we as humans feel and are impacted by all of our experiences - positive or challenging. So we are learning to give ourselves grace, knowing that we've done the best we know how to parent our girls and that not all children are the same. With all that said, I still take a deep breath at this current state of "change" impacting our family. We are 100% confident that this new season is a gift from the Lord and we trust that He is putting things into alignment that will provide for us all - structure, healthy environments both outside and inside of our home, a loving community who is walking with us, and a team of professionals to help us help Harlo. In short: we are Trusting the Lord.

We are navigating the days ahead with Harlo's pediatrician and partnering with some professionals by way of Parent Child Interactive Therapy and some other evaluations to be completed. Would you please meet with us in prayer over the days ahead? For Harlo - that whatever is going on in her body would be fully realized and that she learns how to healthily express her needs and find ways to self-regulate. That she be receptive to the help she is receiving and responds positively to the new ways we learn to parent her. We also ask for prayers of wisdom over me and Bryan - our parent hearts are so heavy. We want to help our baby girl and we long for a restored family dynamic in our home. And last but not least, prayers of understanding, grace, compassion, and restored relationship between all 3 of the girls. For Isla and Maven to get back missed time with Bryan and me, to be seen, to have fun, and for understanding/grace/compassion towards Harlo. We are believing for better days ahead - for happiness, fun, and peace to return to our household. I truly believe we are nearing the surface, coming up for air. We are extremely grateful for your prayers in the days ahead.

I'll leave you on a lighter note: I'm sure your climate expectation of the Pacific Northwest may be similar to what mine was: Expect rain and cloudy skies 24/7 for 9 months straight, and don't think twice about seeing the sun during this time. Just me? Turns out, this expectation was a pretty fabulous baseline because any day in which it doesn't rain or when we do get to see the sun - is full on delight! Either the weather pattern is in an off season or I was completely off with my worst case scenario. The rain is lovely - you gain a fresh perspective when you live amongst such green beauty as a visual reminder of the fruit to come by summer. It is also not the 'cats and dogs' type rain we are used to. The rain is gentle, calm and easily manageable with decent rain gear. And as I said a few days ago, you learn to not let it affect your plans. Rain or shine - plans are on in the PNW! There have been more dry days and sunshine than I can count. I have a new appreciation for the sun and dry days. They truly are beautiful here.

Until next time - forever sending love and hugs from the PNW!